Hey coach, what do I have to do to get some or more playing time? Coach, why am I not playing? My coach only plays their favorites and I’m not one of them. My coach doesn’t like me, that’s why I don’t get playing time.

These thoughts are common in sports. Players and parents are all too often wondering why they or their child doesn’t get playing time or enough of it while at the same time, coaches are forced to try to explain to them why the player is not playing at all or as much as they desire.

Let me cut to the chase before breaking it down into more manageable pieces: coaches want to win and play the best players. If it makes you feel better you could in fact even say that those players are the coach’s favorites. Chances are that you would be very correct.

Coaches do play favorites. Oops, every coach’s big secret is now out in the open. Just be very careful to truly understand what makes a player one of a coach’s favorites though. Failing to understand that will cause you to falsely believe that you or your child is a victim.

How can a player get some or more playing time? The answer is simple: become one of the coach’s favorites. At this point some will say ‘no way, I’m not going to suck up to the coach to become one of their favorites.’ Sorry players that’s not what I mean by becoming one of their favorites.

Most coaches regularly stress what they expect from their players. Oddly enough, those players that do those things and in the right way the vast majority of the time amazingly enough most often become the coach’s favorite players. Thus, those favorite players get more playing time.

Just as simple, doing the things that a coach asks of you typically gets you more playing time. No magic wand or voodoo dolls are needed. What is needed? Well, that depends on what the coach prioritizes.

Usually the following traits go a long way in helping a player to become a coach’s favorite. Those traits often include things like being coachable. Coaches love players that they know want to learn. Coachable players are willing to change habits if necessary to become better. They listen and they learn.

Another trait that most coaches love is work ethic. Players that give maximum effort at all times are a coach’s dream. Not just effort in games, but rather in practices, film sessions, strength training, whatever. I’m referring to both physical and mental effort here too. Most coaches simply don’t buy into the ‘they don’t practice well but really is a gamer’ mentality. Rather, they want to see a player perform in practice settings and prove that they deserve to play.

Yes, deserve to play. That’s a really big issue here. Let me be crystal clear on that point as well. Players do not deserve to play just because they simply signed up or even made the team.

They don’t deserve to play just because they are a senior or were a starter last year. That was last year. What do you have this year? Do you deserve to play now? You see, when someone who doesn’t really deserves to play based on daily performance plays anyway, someone who does deserve to play a lot based on daily performance must sacrifice time.

Quite frankly, that’s not fair.

Coaches love players who have a great attitude. The type of player that communicates positively with teammates, can take both praise and criticism effectively and maintains a positive attitude even in tough times can win a coach over quickly. Coaches love players who bring energy to the team. Energy is contagious amongst members of a team. On the flip side there are traits that coaches despise in players.

Those traits include a poor attitude, a lack of effort, low energy, a resistance to being coached and general laziness. Players who have a bad attitude and go through the motions have little to no chance of ever becoming the coach’s favorite and thus gaining playing time.

Another very simple way to think about playing time is by approaching it this way: make your coach play you. How do you do that? Become the player that is coachable, who gives maximum effort at all times, who has a great attitude and brings great energy to the team. Making the coach play you by being all of those things is on you, the player, not the coach.

If you are all of those things and you truly do have game, the coach will have to play you because it will be too obvious to everyone that the coach is clueless if they don’t play you. Additionally, the coach will want to play you because remember, they have a desire to win.

For parents and players that complain about playing time, it’s time for them to take a different look at the why and the how. Parents need to look at their player and the player needs to look at themselves to consider why they are not playing or playing enough. If playing time is the desire, make sure your coach sees that it is deserved. Remember, coaches want to win and the best players will help them to do just that.

Players, are you doing the things necessary to force your coach to play you? Parents, are you providing your athlete with the advice and the supports necessary for them to be successful and be noticed by their coach or are you helping them to make excuses as to why they aren’t playing at all or enough? A player’s job is to get noticed by the coach and the parents job is to encourage their athlete to do all that is necessary to make an impression on their coach that he or she can’t miss.

Be coachable, play hard, have a great attitude, bring energy to your team and do the other little things that coaches notice. Do that and your chances of becoming one of the coach’s favorites will increase exponentially.